The Art of Self-Love: What I Learned From My First Solo Travel

When was the first time you spent a day with yourself? When was the last? How did that make you feel? How did being alone in your own space make you feel? As for me, I still remember the first time I had a me day, or a day I simply dedicated myself to doing things I love and enjoy. 

First, a little context. When I was in high school, I ended up going to four different schools because my family moved so often, and that constant moving left me feeling lonely at times. It was hard to stay connected with friends from a city or state away. Even though I always made friends eventually, I was often alone which felt uneasy. One day, I started thinking about how I can find the company I seek in others in myself instead. So, I started planning my “me days”. 

My first intentional “me day” was in high school, somewhere around 2019. Although I’m glad I did it, it wasn’t easy at first. When you first spend time alone, even intentionally, it can feel uncomfortable due to lack of familiarity, which is totally normal. Sitting in "quiet" can give your body the impression that something is wrong. But quietness doesn't automatically make things boring. Quiet can be a form of peace, and peace can be liberating.

For me, the moment that truly changed my relationship with being alone came years later. In March 2023, during spring break of my sophomore year of college, I was in my early 20s when I went on a solo trip to New York City, the city that never sleeps. Before I started the first chapter of my 20s, specifically before my 20th birthday, I remember making a commitment: I would do my best to step out of my comfort zone, push myself to grow, and become more independent. I wanted to experience and do more of what life has to offer.

Nearly three years have passed, yet I still talk about that solo trip as if it happened yesterday. I had been to New York with my family before, but exploring the city on my own felt completely different. I started planning my itinerary months in advance and writing down all the places I wanted to see. This time, I wasn’t following anyone else’s schedule. I moved at my own pace, and that felt freeing.

When I first arrived in the city, I remember getting lost for a bit, dragging my checked bag and carry-on as I wandered through Times Square searching for my hotel. As I reached my hotel room, everything felt surreal, like I couldn’t fully believe I was really there on my own. At first, I felt nervous, but little by little, the excitement of my first solo trip started to take over. Every street corner, every towering building, every skyline view left me in awe. Through small conversations made with locals and even meeting solo travelers along the way, I knew these weren’t just passing moments, but memories I’d carry with me for the rest of my life.

My friends and family often told me how brave I was for traveling alone. Was I scared? Of course I was. But if I had let fear or doubt take over the moment they appeared, I don’t think I ever would have taken that trip. I wouldn’t be writing this now, and you wouldn’t be reading it. The truth is, growth is always on the other side of fear. If you never take that first leap of faith, how will you ever know what you’re capable of?

You will come to a point in your life

where you decide whether you stay the same, or take that leap of faith. It’s important to take that leap because life isn’t only about the chances we take. It’s also about the changes we’re willing to embrace, which includes the uncertainties of life. For anything to grow, it has to keep moving forward, even when it feels uncomfortable. And yes, change can be scary because it’s unfamiliar, but so is staying the same. An act of self-love is allowing yourself to experience new things and taking those leaps, even when you’re unsure of where they’ll lead. You never know when the next best thing in your life will come, so embrace the uncertainty, trust the process, and keep moving forward. Do it for your future self.

Brooklyn Bridge in New York. (March, 2023).

Writing this made me realize how far I’ve come. I’ve grown from someone who depended on others for happiness to someone who can create happiness for herself. The art of self-love isn’t easy. Most of the time, it feels like an uphill climb, and there are days when you are back to square one, but you have to keep going because that’s how you grow. You keep pushing toward your highest potential and making the most of what life offers you. And self-love doesn’t have to be something grand. It can be small, simple steps such as going to a cafe, getting groceries, taking a walk at the park, and running errands. It’s the little things that go the long way. They are moments that create some of the most meaningful times in your life. Even if you’re not sure where to start, the desire or willingness to do more for yourself and the thought of wanting to be better already shows that you care about yourself more than you realize.